Magic Talking Box

I have entered the millennium. I have internet. I have Netflix. I can't believe I've been missing out on all this awesome. Why didn't someone tell me?!

I mean, of course people did tell me. But they didn't make it clear. They didn't mention that I could watch movies from 1985 as well as last year's Shark Week. I can get as much Mike Rowe (who I am obsessed with) as I want. I can finish watching Buffy, the series. I can sing-along with Doris Day. Every day.

I still don't have anything but rabbit-eared reception for my television, but with so much to catch up on I can only think that if I did get something better I would never do my homework, make dinner, heck, get up off my bed.

How have the rest of you been functioning with your Hulu, and your delivered daily movies, DVRs, tv on your phone, Facebook on your electronic book reader?

There's so much goodness--and badness!--to be watched, scanned, read, mocked that I can't even conceive a schedule in which I could get to it all.

And I want to. I want it all.

Or maybe that's just the soda talking.

Cheers,
LV

Corrugated Cardboard and Curtains

I don't know about WordPress. The sites I've seen are lovely, but sort-of generic and corporate, somehow. As I finished watching Just One of the Boys, I can't help but think the 1980s non-PC-ness (yep, made that up) shines in comparison to the newly polished movies on the same themes. I mean, you watch Just One of the Boys and then watch She's the Man, with Amanda Bynes. (Don't get me wrong. I like Amanda Bynes.) But which one surprises you? Makes you laugh? I bet it is going to be the first.

(Note: The kid playing the younger brother, credited as Billy Jacoby but now on IMDB as Billy Jayne, grew up quite nice. And slutty girl grew up to play both Sasha and Anna Nardini on Gilmore Girls.)

How does that apply to web design? Well, if I'm as polished or a s boxed as a corporate site, I think I will 1) want to gouge my eyes out and 2) be dishonest enough to be off-putting.

Or is that crazy talk? Does every body want sleek and shiny? Posh and boxy? Is this what the world has come to be, folks?

Ahem. Back on track: Tuesday I'm gonna spend some design time with WP, if it doesn't go well, I'll commit to working in the lab. If that doesn't go well, I'll be forced to drop out of my program and take up residence in the fall-back of all English-Lit majors: Life in a Box.

Anyone get a new refrigerator recently?

Cheers,
LV

Hernias Suck Like Having No Cash When a Psychic Wants You

My boyfriend broke himself and BookFest is kind of dull. I am looking forward to Ms. Kimberly, in a scant hour, at the City Lit tent. Otherwise, my walk through was sort of blerg. (For more on blerg, see 30 Rock and my idol, Tina Fey.)

So, the boyfriend has pulled something and is still headin' into work. (Training, so he will, I hope, sit for the duration.) Also, he's a grumpy studier and this injury is not helping his I-Have-To-Take-Tests disposition. (Which is, to clarify, ill.)

Add to that my attempt at distraction, namely blocks of books, failing and I am not a happy LV. The Chesapeake has struck again. Last year there was a very nifty tent where books were being re-bound with hinges, Poes abounded, and the general festivity was infectious.

This year, my big excitement was being stopped by a psychic who wanted to read my palm. This was less exciting as I had no cash to pay her and so did not, in fact, get my palm read. Maybe she'll still be around when I go back and have exciting things to tell me. I certainly hope so.

Also, why do we not, UB MFA-ers, have a tent? I say we should. Next year. Memoir will have its book out by then, our classmates and graduates are busily publishing. We should be our own fun. Oooh. And maybe we could have some Plork gear on hand to peddle?

What say you?

I say, Go!

Cheers,
LV

Nutrition Information

So, fat content? Calories? Total carbs? Well, those are going to be high, but don't expect your cholesterol to benefit.

I'm thinking of using this phrase, Not So Southern, as a tag for me as a person and a writer. I definitely feel the need to describe my background as I come from the regionally confusing West Virginia (we seceded to fight for the North, but ya'll know we got accents and serve sweet tea). Plus, I love the trees, the waving at strangers, chatting people up when I'm in line at the market but I also spent my formative years in cities with their museums and have never shot a gun let alone tried to blend into the trees to shoot a deer. (Of course, my family tradition is more Napping Season, than hunting. I think that's why they are all better at fishing. You can basically sleep until something snags your line, be it old boot or actual fish.)

Anyway, the gist of that ramble is: My background informs my writing and my writing is everything from dirty sex poems, to funny memoirs, to poems about canning (that is, picking vegetables and preparing them to keep in jars).

I also aspire to write fiction. Probably science-fiction. So, yeah, as stated before, I'm quirked. I feel people need a little prepartion for that.

Plus, I like blogging. So, that could be a fun portion of the page, letting people know what I'm up too. (I also think it would be a little boot to the bum to send work out. If I didn't, what would I report?)

And, on that news front: I hope that there will be news. Right now, my memoir class is publishing a collection. And, I'm tapped. But, as I suggested to someone else, I'd love to support my fellow MFA-ers on the site and their upcoming stuff. (Like Ms. Kimberly and her recent publication. So excited for her.)

Maybe I could do the whole thing as a future page--as if I'm successful all ready. Or at least marginally active.

So, the break down:

1) Who I am and how that happened,

2) What I write, with samples. I think.

3) A blog, 'cause I said so.                

4) News--mine and fellow writers.      

5) Something just for fun.                   

Sudoku? Word Search? OOH! One of those puzzles where you have to move thepieces inside of the box to make it?  (If I use the anatomy thing, it could be another anatomy picture.) Or links to my influences, like Highlights, the children's magazine?

I actually think content is the toughest. Also, I need to put writing samples up, but once I do that, it is off limits (basically) for publishing.

Oh, the horror!

Cheers,

LV





There's No Place Like Home

Dorothy had it right, is all I'm saying. (Yes, this is The Wizard of Oz theory of web-page building.)  I don't like getting deep into Munchkinland and finding out I have to hike a yellow-brick road home. What I mean by this is that, when wandering over a page, I don't want to have back button my way to the main page or even type in the address again. (This is especially bad as I often don't know what it is.) I want something as quick and incantatory as Dorothy's magic slippers, i.e. a link that clearly says Home.

Navigating a page should be easy. I would especially think as a beginning writer I need to make it as simple as possible for visitors. Why would they bother to discover when they don't have a vested interest? It isn't like they are stuck over the rainbow with a badass witch hot on the trail. They've got their own magic, be it a new google search or simply  clicking a tiny x with their magic arrow; ain't nothin' keepin' them in Oz.

I was thinking of separating out my writing, on the off chance that I get published  in more than one genre. But, whatever the topic separation, I want each one to be represented on each page. I don't want someone to have to go home to get to a new location. (Although,I'm fairly certain that Dorothy's shoes only work in Oz, so the theory breaks down here.)



Cheers,
LV

Stream of Thought, or a Caffeinated Midnight

Alex and I nearly argued--okay, not nearly--about the website project earlier. Alex, my boyfriend, actually has some design background and is all artist-y while I, well, we'll just say, I don't/am not. Which is fine. But brainstorming aloud, in a very general way, with a fellow who has all this specific knowledge ended badly.

He did, however, give me this: He calls my writing both quirky and lyrical. Which I thought a compliment as well as a good thing to keep in mind for design.  But, oh, how to be quiirky yet not annoying/cliched/too complex?

Again, he has suggestions. He thinks I should  channel a project I did in Creativty and I may. It has some cool elements that I might be able to use including a really old dictionary, an old anatomy book, and this awesome purple paper made with the leaves of some fruiting tree or plant. (No, not vague at all.)

Just now, in fact, I was thinking about photographing this anatomy picture of a hand and perhaps having each finger link to a different thing---which doesn't sound too spiffy when I say it like that, I know. But seriously, the illustration is fantastic and I'm always using science (especially anatomy) in my poetry.

I do want something clean and inviting, too, though.

Also, I'm not sure about which platform to use. I'd like to use Dreamweaver just to get the hang of the thing, but I've had a look 'round Word Press for another project and think it might be the ticket. Particularly since I haven't got a Mac and WordPress doesn't require it.

(I only today got internet at home and am over excited about the fact that I'm doing my homework in bed, in m'pjs, at midnight. Very exciting stuff here and a much more comfortable and inspiring place to brain storm than the 24 hour lab.)

Well, I'll keep at it.

Cheers,
LV

Mercenary Me

What do I want to learn? I am to name one thing in all of the inter-webbable world that I want to learn? And to this knowing about 1/20th of a teaspoon of how to do things on the 500 gallon and growing net? (That metaphor didn't quite work out, but I leave it to you to come up with a better one. Post below. Because, I really, at 12:49 a.m. cannot construct better).

But I digress. What I want to learn...Well, if I leave out things that I can't learn, and certainly not in this class, then that leaves nearly all things. (I'm leaving out drawing, hence the nearly. Despite the fact that I would love to do this:

http://stuffnoonetoldme.blogspot.com/) 

But, if I'm gettin' down to the nitty gritty, except for a keen desire to know how to create a really intense search engine for my site (thus making it super easy to navigate), I would like to learn all about how to make the web work for me, as in, make me money, make me known thus making me money, make me a better writer thus making me money. (That's right. I like me. And money for me.)

So, what would do this? Aside from a genie, I mean how to get a really clean looking site that is easily navigable, but fresh, how to imbed my blog so my page is a one-stop shop, and other such joy. Cool graphics are essential. But how does one get/make/conjure them? (Nifty graphics like Larry Doyle has and that I want.)

And, of course, how to make me findable. What are the words to use to help direct people to my site? How do I know them? How do I do whatever it is that they do to do that? And, that, I think is the one thing I will settle on. Because being findable, well, that's half the battle.

Or was that something else?

Cheers,

LV

Hanging Loose, obviously the coolest literary journal ever bound

So, okay. I could be wrong about this because it is actually in paper form still and not on-line, so I didn't actually get to peruse the pages.Furthermore, I realize this, to some degree, may seem ananthema to this particular class. But, as I have been inundated with conversation about the death of print, I found it reassuring to find a literary journal with a kickin' history that is still being published on paper, sent into homes.

I have to order it to support it. But also because, if you read the main page's history lesson, how could anyone refuse? They were one of the first publishers of Denise Levertov and Sherman Alexie. I love the former's poetry and havne't read enough of the second's to say, but his The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian is fantastic. (Haven't read it? You should. Are not now, immediately ordering it? A pox on you!)

However, they do have this very cool information up-front and easy to follow links to their published books (and they have many) and to the ordering form for the actual journal where you can pick the size of your addiction, much like ordering coffee at Trendy Coffee Warehouse: 3, 6, or 9 issues/3, 6, or Nueve.

Of course, the links to all that other stuff is off to the left hand side and pretty tiny. It would be nice if it were a cleaner, larger construction.

Plus, they are all about the new writers and, as a new writer, I have to love that kind of commitment.

Order it. Read it. Love it.

Cheers,
LV

Good Author, Bad Page

I love Science-Fiction and Fantasy stories. I say this now because it will likely be a theme. Also, I want everyone to know that the author whose page I dislike is also an author that I like to read. (At left is the cover art for a collaboration she did with one of the best sci-fi authors, Anne McCaffrey)

Jodi Lynn Nye, for such a successful sci-fi/fantasy writer, has a page that is amateruish at best. The writing is funny and smart, but the cat-themed graphics and backgrounds don't scream professional. On top of that, the first page is oddly placed cover art and random links to her different books.

As a new reader, I would want an idea of who/what I was checking out when I hit up her site. As there isn't much on this first page, I might veer quickly away based only on graphics. As someone who knows her work, I'm more interested in news and upcoming books, both of which you have to navigate away from the main page to find.

The information, though, is well organized and easy to find. But her layout and look definitely need some help.

Still, she's worth reading. And, she goes to my favorite place on earth: Dragon*Con.  You should too.

Cheers,
LV

Not For Kids

Yes, I did indeed love the books where I got to make decisions for the characters. I even still own one or two and have, over the years, traveled back through their possible ends.

Of course, on-line, they exist all over the place as hypertext narratives. And one I've found, and enjoyed, has to come with a warning: This choose-your-own story is not for kids. It is hilarious. It is ridiculous. But it is definitely not for kids. Still, I think you too should Select Your Destiny, a mini-mock from I-Mockery.com.

Book 1, which I've provided the handy link for, is funny enough that you might want more. And that's where the page fails a little. You basically just have to use their search engine to find the books two through whatever. (Although, since the site is all ready getting its Halloween on, the Halloween Select Your Destiny is easy to find.  Plus, the search engine is very effective.)

On the upside, the choices always fall as links at the end of the selection and, provided you've chosen wrong, you get a snarky start-over message to get you back on track.

What could any adult want more?

Cheers,
LV

Larry Doyle: Funny writer, success story, and awesome page haver

Larry Doyle is not a little known author. No.

As his page states, "he was born on planet earth. He is a primate." He is also awesome. He has written screenplays, is a former writer for the Simpson's, and has his very own books--that he has also had made into movies.

I think I want to be him when I grow up. Him or Tina Fey. It is a tough decision as far as grown-up aspirations go. But I can say, without hesitation, that I want his page.

First, the overall theme is lovely. With its drive-in movie and black and white sci-fi reel, this main page is obviously thematically about his newest novel Go, Mutants! As you can see from the above picture, it is all about those early thrills and B-movie spills.

But the page is also super easy to navigate. At the top of the page are links (with correlating graphics) titled blog, book, ink, tv, film, meat, and contact. Following each link takes you much where you would expect. Except, perhaps, meat. And on each new page the links are repeated with a new one that will take the viewer home. Going a step further, you can scroll over the pages and find yourself warped to book excerpts and other fun stuff like cult classics and Gidget movies--obvious inspirations for the book and the page.

From this web portal, one definitely gets a sense of who Larry Doyle is as a writer--quirky, funny, smart. If you are enticed to keep viewing and reading the pages, then how could you not be enitced to buy the books or see his movies?

As far as what would I change---mm, occassionally as you explore the fun, there is no way home but the back button. I always like a way to get back to the main page in case I've strayed too far afield, gotten bored, or have decided there was something vital I needed/missed.

But, mostly, I would only change the owner of the page from Mr. Doyle, to me.

Cheers,
LV

Take Two, Electric Boogaloo

So, I began this class last semester. Well, I took an hour of this class last semester, but, when I found out that it would be offered again in the fall (rather than in the spring) I decided to make space in the crowded room.

Also, having no computer or internet last time around I was concerned about the amount of time I would be spending in computer labs. Not, of course, that the situation has changed, but I'm planning to change it within the next couple of weeks. I'd rather be blogging and creating in my house, in my pjs, with a cup of hot chocolate and the dogs snoring at my feet (or, more likely, dropping their damp tennis balls on my feet in order to distract me).

On bringing my apartment into a world of technology, I will keep you posted.

Which brings us up to date, I believe, in the LV saga.


Cheers,
LV